What is Christmas?
by Alexiel Reborn
Summary: Snowflakes fall around me. I know I’m alone and no one’s there. What is Christmas? Can’t stop this loneliness. Someone help me. HieiKurama angst


**Summary:** Snowflakes fall around me. I know I'm alone and no one's there. What is Christmas? Can't stop this loneliness. Someone help me. Hiei/Kurama angst

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**Author's Note:** I told myself I wasn't going to write a Christmas story, but here I go, a little Hiei x Kurama angsty romance Christmas story. It's only going to be two chapters long though!

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kurama, Hiei, or Yu Yu Hakusho in anyway, but they're on my Christmas list!

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**What is Christmas?**

By: _Neko-kyolover_

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The snow spun faster and faster around me, glistening flakes that glittered like tears in the sickly yellow glow of the florescent street lamps. The heat from my breath reaches out in a cloud and tries in vain to blow them all away. They remind me of Yukina, her innocence as pure as the snowflakes that fall onto the dirty ground.

I wrap my cloak tight around me, but there's no escaping the frigid chill of the winter in the evening. My nose and fingertips are beginning to feel numb and I scowl deeply. I flare my temperature quickly, restoring life to my unfeeling body parts and melt the thin layer of snow around me. As soon as I step away, I hear a crack as it snaps back into ice, away from the intense heat of my body.

I look up at the gray sky, my crimson eyes piercing through the white mass that tries its hardest to obscure my vision. Reluctantly I let my temperature fall again. I can't be calling attention to myself in the Ningenkai. I guess I'll just have to get used to the cold. …I hate it so much…

My feet make little crunching noises as they lightly touch the frozen ground and I start to make my way down this little ningen street. I hate ningens. I don't know why I'm here now, but…

I don't understand ningens. I glance over at one of the houses, decorated with little blinking flames all over it's surface. For a moment I'm hypnotized, just staring at them flashing. Green, now red, now green again, red, green, red, green, red… I quickly tear my eyes away from them. Another one has a sign on the door and I try in vain to read the symbols.

"Merry… Christmas…"I finally whispered as I managed barely to read it. Kurama has been trying to teach me to read ningen lately. He said it was important, but I didn't see how I would use it very much. Not many demons use ningen writing.

I shuffled my feet in thought for a moment before I bounded up into a nearby tree and sped away down the street. Maybe I would go visit the fox tonight. It had been nearly a month since I had last seen him. Maybe he's the reason I was suddenly provoked into coming to this pathetic ningenkai after all?

The chilled wind claws at my eyes and the delicate skin of my exposed face, but I ignore it. Within seconds I'm at his window again, skillfully balanced on an outstretching branch.

His window is closed today, as it should be in such cold weather, and his room is dark. That's strange. Usually at this time he's in his bed, or sitting at his desk studying his ningen books. I should know. This is the time I usually come and visit him.

I flit down to the ground again and crunch across the cold earth to a window that peers into his living room. I see him, sitting in a chair with a mug of something in his hands. His face looks content as he turns to talk to his ningen mother and her husband sitting on the couch. His ningen stepbrother is sitting on the floor playing with some sort of ningen contraption. It all looks so…happy… I lightly press my fingers against the cold glass and I can almost feel the warmth radiating from the room. I quickly snap my hand away and jump back into the tree as though I was just burned.

It's chilly tonight, but I think I've already mentioned that. But somehow to me it seems to grow colder as I sit here waiting in this tree. I tried to go in through the fox's window, but it seems he's locked it tonight. I don't get it. He never locks his window. He's never locked me out before…

I feel my throat grow dry and it begins to ache. The image of him sitting with his family flashes through my mind and I finally I begin to understand. Maybe he was trying to tell me that he didn't want me to come tonight. Maybe it was his way of telling me to stay away.

The snow falls heavier now and I have to shake the clinging particles from my body. Maybe I should go visit Yukina, as long as I'm in the ningenkai. Anything would be better than staying here, unwanted. And it's not like I have anywhere else that I can go…

My decision made, I take one last look into his dark empty room and I feel my heart clench oddly. I don't understand this feeling. Why did he abandon me, like everyone else? I shake my head. It's a question I can easily answer for myself. …I'm the forbidden child…

It's odd. My entire life has all been taboo.

Genkai's temple is within my sight in minutes. I can feel Yukina's pleasantly cool presence inside it's walls. As I hover near the door I can hear her beautiful laughter radiating down the hall. Oh, if only I could tell her. But she wouldn't accept me either…I can't let her know no matter how much I have to suffer for it. Who would want me as a brother? She would only be disappointed.

I don't bother to knock as I enter the building and quietly walk into the room where she was sitting with a cup of tea in her hand, talking quietly with that idiot Kuwabara who seems to have stopped over for a visit.

"Oh Hiei!" she says, as she looks up and is surprised to see me. She blushes lightly and stands up dusting off her kimono as she rises. "What are you doing here?" she asks curiously.

Maybe I shouldn't have come here after all…

"What is Merry Christmas?" I burst out suddenly and I feel a blush comes to my cheeks.

Kuwabara, who had been silent up until this point burst out in laughter. "Ha ha! The shrimp doesn't know what Christmas is! That's so funny!!..."There were literally tears in his eyes.

I turned to leave, angry and embarrassed, but Yukina gently touched my arm, asking me to stay. "Wait Hiei…" She turned and gave Kuwabara a disappointed look and he quickly shut up and looked guilty. "It's ok Hiei. There was no way for you to know…"

I turn to look into her eyes, crimson…just like mine. But unlike me…she deserves to be happy. I would stay here just for her happiness. "Hn.." I say noncommittally.

"Christmas is a ningen holiday that takes place of the 25th of December, or tomorrow. It's a holiday where families and friends get together and exchange gifts with each other and just enjoy other their company." Yukina said slowly, a small smile on her lips as though she were imagining something pleasant. "It's my favorite holiday because I only have happy memories of the times that I have spent with my friends."

I felt my heart drop suddenly. I can see Kurama's happy face again. _A holiday where family and friends get together…enjoy their company…with friends…_ Is that why you rejected me Kurama? Was it because you were trying to tell me that you wanted to spend it with your real friends and your real family? Is it all because I'm not worthy?

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--Meanwhile back in the Minamino household—

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Kurama slowly walked back up into his room after a comfortable evening with his family. It was always times like those that made him the happiest. Tomorrow was Christmas and he couldn't wait to give everyone their presents. He had spent the last month searching and searching for the perfect gifts, but the one he felt the most successful about was Hiei's.

They were a new pair of black leather boots, sturdy and stylish, and a new black cloak to replace his rapidly diminishing one. Hiei had been looking rather tattered lately and Kurama hoped fervently that he would appreciate them. The only thing that was bothering Kurama was the fact that the fiery little youkai hadn't shone up to visit him in quite a while.

Kurama wandered over to his windowsill and looked out at the darkness and sighed. He had thought he had sensed Hiei's ki earlier, but he must have just been imagining it. After all the demon wouldn't come all the way here and not visit. He glanced down at the window latch and frowned. It was locked. He quickly flipped it back to it's usual setting. His mother had probably just been up here cleaning and being paranoid as usual and she had locked his window for him. She had always been scolding him about leaving it open and such.

Turning away he settled down onto his bed and feel into a contented sleep, completely unaware how just a little misunderstanding could cause so much torment in an already saddened heart.


End file.
